Curhat Colongan

OK, I’M PICKY… SO WHAT????

Last nite, out of the blue, I’ve got an sms which is, in simple words, "SOK TAU BANGEEEEETTTT" from someone I didn’t know who – my cellphone doesn’t even recognize the number – and too chicken to show his/her "face" before me…
anyhow, the sms in sort judge me that I’m really have a high standard to decide with who I will spend the rest of my life and dengan PEDEnya sok nasehatin gue If I’m not get my self down to earth I will be lonely forever…. Huahahahahahaha… Sok tau banget kaaaaan… And still didn’t want to show me his/her face, even just a name. CEMEN!!! She/he just told me that she/he are a friend who care about my problem… Huahahahahahahaha. I  was laughing out loud when I read that sms. Well, now I’m pretty sure that SHE/HE ARE REALLY NOT A FRIEND OF MINE, cause friends close to me must be well known about my life right now, about my dream, my thought and ga ada yang sok tau kayak dia…. hihihihi… kasian banget sih tuch orang…

okay, Talking about someone who I will spend the rest of my life with – or in sort, the right  man – are bring us to talk about commitment. It terms of relationships…commitment as a stand alone term, may not be my strong suit. BUT when I get into something I really get into it and commit myself to doing the best I can. If I believe in something, I will commit myself to the cause. And sure… I have my own criteria and standard to decide those stuff. Mind you, who doesn’t?? I think everyone has their own criteria just like mine. Not really the same, but you must have your own standard, aren’t you?? Basically, I did that because I want those commitment will be my lifetime relationship. For once in my lifetime. So, nothing’s wrong to be picky, right? more than that, to be picky is a must!!! That’s the reason I thought I have to decide that carefully. Brain, beauty and behavior are still a basic standard for me. I have a question for you guys who really know me intimately, did my standard too high and I really not down to earth? And with all I have right now (yeaaah u know it guys…), is it wrong If I make some standard to choose my right man? For sure, I want someone who much "better" than me… U know, men,.. they are all always have their own ego, right? For sure they didn’t want to look "suck" after their spouse.

I made some criteria for myself (I’m deal with that so far, make some exception to some guys I’ve close with) and haven’t found what I looking for yet, I don’t think that it’s a problem. Committing to a cause is hard, it can be very draining…inconvenient… lonely… and you often hit numerous roadblocks. I’m not always know what I am doing, but I try to make things better. When I made mistake, just face it! Everyone made a mistake.

and for YOU who send me those ridiculous sms last nite, Mind Your Own Business, Please…

Seputar Kedodolan

…WORK HARD, PLAY HARD… (it’s time to chill out babeeee…)

Whoever said, “you can sleep when you’re dead” didn’t have to live through busy days at work that require snappy trains of thought and articulate conversations. Unfortunately after a relatively busy weekend the grunts meaning, “Yes I’ll drop that fax off” or “yes garlic mustard is an invasive”. So far, I always had a great weekend of visiting and drinking with friends. Sleep wasn’t on the itinerary and unfortunately for me it hasn’t really been on the menu for months and months and months… *grin* But when I got much protest from my body yelling to fall out sick, I reconsider about how my weekend gone.

Oke… think about it… I wake up everyday, relatively early, with big plans for my day. Those that know me well know that I pack a lot into each day and I don’t waste a lot of time doing nothing. Lately, it’s been a little ridiculous. Between work, traveling, and trying to reconnect with friends I haven’t seen in weeks & months… I’ve left very little time for myself. How do I remedy my overwhelming addiction to being busy?

So far I’ve made attempts to visit people that help slow me down. People living in ‘Praise of Slow’. My stress level drops and I find I get more centered. I appreciate the feeling, yet I don’t know how to manufactured it myself. Hmmm.

Off to hangout tonight (with some best friend… I really missed the chit chat), visiting my cousin wedding tomorrow, meet friends from Klub Baca on Sunday and Monday, I hit the road (hahahahaha….). I like to think its called living life, but am I shaving years off my life by living on the go-go-go?

Seputar Kedodolan

THE DOMINO EFFECT

I’ve been working hard, and procrastinating even harder, these days. It is so easy to let your time get eaten up by work. At least that’s what I think. Playtime has been disrupted and as a result a bunch of other things have been modified and adjusted. Ripple effect, domino effect….whatever you call it… its happening all around us everyday.

Yesterday I made some decisions and set myself up for a new course of action. I thought to myself how many different times that had happened this week. I really can’t keep up. I live a dynamic and ever changing life, and I’m cool with that. What I’m not cool with is my lack of interest to try and pull the reins a bit tighter and force myself into some sort of guidance… down a path or something. Maybe I can contribute this to the likes of ecology. When the environment becomes static or things are forced to stay the same something bad happens. Something comes out of the blue and changes things… Maybe that’s why I lack consistency in my lifestyle, relationships, work environment, and geography? I’m subconsciously trying to prevent something terrible from happening?

Where did October go? All I know is that once November is over I can have part of my normal, socializing, life back. I feel as though I’ve isolated myself from most of my friends and slightly abandoned them and only get to see a select few bc they too fit into my scattered lifestyle of lack of planning and workaholic-ness.

Time to set some new parameters: December will be about me and confining work to work hours and play time to weekends and me time to weekdays… Less useless hangout and more quality time. Even if I hit the mark with one of those goals I’ll be happy.

Happy Birthday Ms. Emma… may the dominos fall the way you wish this bday…. Mind you, scorpions like you never really adjust to predictability, do you? 😀

tukar pikiran

Love the limbs you’re in…………….xo

I met someone today who really made me think about life and daily adventures. Its funny, you don’t really think about how much you appreciate walking, breathing, talking, and/or having a fully functioning healthy body until a) you don’t have one yourself due to accident or b) someone close to you shares their experience of misfortune and/or accident. Well, b) happened today.

I was sitting in my office working away and had been invited to go for a little ‘lunch date’ with a co-worker. I usually bow-down from such suggestions as I have a strict policy that involves NO DATING of people that work in the same field or vicinity of me. I usually like to have my own space and date long distance and or rely on expiration dating in which the individual has plans to leave my city of occupancy for a new province or country. So far it’s kept me happy and lets me have my own independence, however I’m getting greedy and find I like things closer to home (sometimes). Mind you, inter-office relations are a little too close for comfort. However, this situation was twisted into a working lunch, so I figured I’d be friendly and see what’s up. Anyhow, to make a long story short he’s a sweet guy, smart, an amazing aptitude for languages, works within the environmental field, volunteers with handicapped people, volunteers with the cancer society, teaches dj’ing.. It’s ridiculous really. How does he find the time to get dressed in the morning let alone eat lunch? Anyhow, we strayed from work chit-chat and turns out he was in a horrible car accident when he was 16. Spent 3 weeks in a comma and had to re-learn how to talk, walk, eat…etc. It’s a truly amazing story. I think my jaw was dropped the entire time. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to forget how to talk? Think about it. How would you communicate if you want something, need something…and how would you get there if you couldn’t walk? It’s an amazing story, esp. considering if you look at him you’d have no idea.

It’s now after lunch and I’m sitting at my desk thinking about my upcoming trip. How would I go to that place if I was unable to talk, walk, stand up….I would be bound to a bed, incapable of doing anything. His attitude is amazing and completely optimistic. He has certain restrictions in his life now bc of the accident but he has faired far better than most. I have serious heels I’m pulling out for the planning this weekend and I thank the universe that I have the capability to wear them and dance the shit out of them.

I ask you Chiclicious readers to look at your limbs and love each and every one of them this evening (maybe have a partner do it for you).

Here’s to having moving parts that move and lips that talk and kiss……

Curhat Colongan

…When U Were Here…

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed . They have come to assist you through a physically, emotionally or espiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at, an incovinient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die, sometimes they walk away, sometimes! As they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

4pp_800x6000Some people come into your life for a season, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real, but only for a season!

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

(inspired by Pride & Prejudice….. I really love Kierra Knigtley in this movie….)