Okay, so I know several people who have addictions. Something as small as caffeine or chocolate…. to the larger players such as narcotics and alcohol. I have been trying to walk through my own 12 step program. My addiction, if I had to narrow one down today would be that I put too much faith in the people around me. Sure, this sounds okay…but as of latest (maybe the last 7 months) this has not worked in my favor. Being nice and trusting is not a good characteristic when the world is full of people who love to prey on people like me. Yes, I’m getting a thicker skin. I’m starting my own ’12 steps to growing out of being a pushover program’. My list looks a little like this:
1) When I greet people, stop saying… "hi.. how are you". Instead, I’m going to say things like, "Good morning" or "Hi there" and leave my salutations at that.
2) Talk to less strangers (unless I’m somewhere where I need to network, then its my job)
3) Stop trying to solve the world problems by putting my neck out for people.
4) Be more selfish.
5) Stop assuming people are going to do something that is ultimately unrealistic.
6) Don’t take it personal when people disappoint.
7) Stop expecting, just ask.
8) Hug less, but smile the same amount.
9) Listen but don’t put myself on the line to solve the problem. That’s not my job.
10) Do more on my own and provide people with the tools to help themselves, but don’t do tasks for them.
11) Listen to my stomach more.
12) Stay away from boys who are looking for a i) motivator, ii) cheerleader, iii) caregiver and look for men who are i) self sustaining, ii) educated with actual goals and mechanisms for achieving them, iii) are respectful and can be complimentary and thoughtful.
I don’t think this is a tough list. But even number one I’ve been struggling with. Its tougher than you think.
Maybe I should add… ‘make less lists’ to my list. What are you addicted to?
Chichi N. Utami 