Curhat Colongan, Seputar Kedodolan

EVERY LIFE HAS A PURPOSE

Gara-gara hari minggu kemaren ditantangin nonton film “Lady in The Water” ma si Della, gue jadi dapet kata-kata yang gue pake buat judul di atas. Film yang akhirnya bikin gue merasa tertipu ma thriller (and ga bakal percaya lagi ma yang namanya thriller!!!) huahahahaha.. gue pikir film horor!!! Coba kalo yang buat bukan si M. Night Shyamalan, gue ogah kali nontonnya (karena gue emang ogah banget nonton film horor… huhuhuhu). Berhubung gue udah jadi salah satu pengemar Shyamalan sejak Sixth Sense-nya yang cool banget itu, ya gue terima deh tantangan si Della buat nonton. Hehehehehe…

Anyway, gue bukan mau ngomongin tuch film sekarang (tapi gue recommend kalian semua buat nonton film itu… :-p). Yang gue mau share sekarang adalah soal judul yang gue posting di atas. Kata-kata yang gue dapet dari dialog nya the narf named “Story” dengan Mr. Cleveland Heep, waktu Mr. Heep lagi rembukan ma temen-temennya di apartemen soal rencana untuk nolong Story. Waktu mereka lagi bingung nyari siapa di antara mereka yang adalah “The Interpreter”, which is orang yang bisa baca tanda-tanda alam dan mencari petunjuk dari hal tersebut, si Story tiba-tiba bilang “Every life has a purpose, you just have to listen to your voice within”.

That words like stuck in my head since then. That’s the reason I write this blog. Soalnya gue jadi inget sama salah satu buku favorit gue “The Alchemist” nya Paulo Coelho, yang udah berhasil menghancurleburkan keegosian gue dan membuat gue mengubah semua cara pandang gue soal menyikapi hidup gue.  That book also emboldening me to stay true to my dreams and always to listen to the voice within my heart, karena itu lah suara yang paling jujur.

"My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy confides to the alchemist one night as they look up at a moonless night.

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself," the alchemist replies. "And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity." (The Alchemist)

Teori emang paling gampang ya… Prakteknya… susah soooob…

Berusaha yakin ma suara hati itu susah banget, lebih gampang denial and hope everything will be ok. Padahal, kalo denial, batin jadi tersiksa, and semuanya jadi salah. Kalo dipikir-pikir apa sih susahnya denger kata hati. Tapi ya itu tadi, kayak kata si Santiago di The Alchemist, apa yang suara kan oleh kata hati itu kadang-kadang bukan apa yang kita mau. Apa yang kita mau itu ada dipikiran kita, bukan di hati. Makanya suara hati suka kalah ma ambisi… hehehehe

Katanya suara hati itu yang nolong kita dalam perjalanan hidup mencapai tujuan. Tiap hidup kan pasti punya tujuan, kalo ngga ngapain juga kita hidup. Masalahnya adalah gimana cara mencapai tujuan itu tadi. But again, every life has a purpose… so that’s why life is in the journey, not the destination. Seperti juga perjalanan Santiago nyari “pot of gold” nya atau perjalanan Story untuk pulang lagi ke “blue world”, what you search for is usually RIGHT THERE all along, and that the journey you take to find it is about learning lessons and growing as a person. Coelho and Shyamalan speaks of how doing good deeds for others is eventually rewarded and though we don’t know what our treasure will be, or where and how we will receive it, if we follow our heart, we will find it.

Lagi belajar dengerin suara hati nih buat ngambil keputusan. Kayak di salah satu blog yang pernah gue tulis, life is so simple… So, life does not need to be complicated, like Santiago set off to find his "pot of gold," and after a long journey during which he grew mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, he finally discovers the location of the treasure. He follows the directions and find it RIGHT WHERE HE STARTED! The point is, You have what you need inside of you all of the time. You don’t need to search outside yourself- you need to look within.

Bisa ga ya jadi kayak Santiago… biar ga stuck in reverse lagi neh… 🙂

"Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you’ll find your treasure." (The Alchemist) 

Curhat Colongan

“sTuCk iN ReVeRSe”

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep

Stuck in reverse

(Fix You – ColdPlay)

Pernah ga merasa seperti itu??? Ketika apa semua yang lo kerjain ternyata salah or hasilnya payah??? Pusing sendiri… mau marah… tapi percuma… pusing sendiri, capek yang ada. Bawaan jadi jutek, muka bete, ga ada bagus-bagusnya pokoknya deh. Mau marah, marah ma sapa… :-??

Kasian banget ma yang dimarah-marahin, ga ngerti maksudnya apa… wahaahahahahaa… karena gue sebel banget kalo ngeliat orang-orang yang begitu, makanya sekarang ya gue cuma bisa cengar cengir ga jelas gitu. Berusaha percaya kalo everything happens for a reason, and apa yang terjadi itu lah yang terbaik buat gue, sambil ngomong ma diri sendiri “sabar ya chi…”. 

Ngambil “something” dari worst thing yang sedang kita alamin itu emang ga gampang ya… Lebih gampang denial, dan kalo bisa.. nyalahin orang lain.. hahahahahaha… berasa puas ga seh kalo bisa blame it on somebody else, ga cuma kita sendiri yang nanggung pusing, menderita… heeeee… bisa share beban gitu looooh… Tapi ternyata ga nyelesaian masalah, nambah musuh yang ada. Di cap arogan lah, ga bertanggung jawab lah, seenaknya sendiri,… see… ga ada bagus-bagusnya deh…

Yang paling bener ya nyelesaian masalah lo sendiri, berusaha nyari salahnya dimana, ulang lagi dari awal sampe hasilnya bener. Learning from mistake. Cuma keledai yang jatuh dua kali di lobang yang sama… Iya gaaaaaa… hehehehehe

Proses pendewasaan… belajar positive thinking, berusaha menghadapi persoalan dengan bijak.

Tapi, butuh orang-orang disekitar yang ngedukung juga.

Gue ngalamin itu soalnya… -sigh- … suliiiiit…

Ga sedikit juga yang cynical. Yang dibilang terlalu mandiri lah, terlalu cuek, ga perduli, ini… itu… kayak ga butuh orang lain aja… Damned! Apa seh maunya tuch orang-orang…

Bukannya gue ga perduli masalah orang lain, tapi kalo orangnya ga mau cerita and share masalah masak iya seh gue yang comel sok nasehat-nasehatin belagak jadi hero padahal belum tentu mampu juga…

Bukannya ga butuh orang lain, kadang-kadang pengen juga deh denger ada “somebody” yang bilang gini ma gue disaat-saat terapuh gue (berharap seh Chris Martin, apa daya udah ditaken ma Gwyneth Parltow.. wakakakakaka):

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

(Fix You – ColdPlay)

hmmmmm… so sweet kaaaan… Tapi kalo “somebody” itu belum ada, mau apa… Ya nyantai aja,… toh belum, bukannya ga ada… cuma belum… I believe the time will come… (kayak katanya si Imul… hehehehe). And kalo emang masih bisa gue handle sendiri, ngapain nyusahin orang lain… I just want to depend on my self,… jadi bukannya ga butuh orang lain…

Kenapa seh ada aja yang ga ngertiin itu…

Bodo ah… At least I live in what I believe. Dari situ dignity ada… pride ada… hehehehehe

It’s my life,… I do what I should do…

-Sigh-

Lagi “stuck in reverse” neeeeeh….

Untung masih punya temen-temen baik…

Thank you ya guys buat kebersamaannya,… can’t see me can live without you all…

You all has made my life completely different…

Curhat Colongan, Music

What Am I To You?

What am I to you

Tell me darling true

To me you are the sea

Fast as you can be

And deep the shade of blue

When you’re feeling low

To whom else do you go

See I cry if you hurt

I’d give you my last shirt

Because I love you so

Yeah well if my sky should fall

Would you even call

Opened up my heart

Never wanna part

I’m giving you the ball


When I look in your eyes

I can feel the butterflies

Could you find a love in me

Could you carve me in a tree

Don’t fill my heart with lies

I will you love when you’re blue

Tell me darlin’ true

What am I to you

Curhat Colongan

oO The Chronicles of Surabaya Oo

Phew! Such a load of work… Everyone I know is drowning in it…no time to freak out…can you believe it? Morn to late night everyone is running around – mentally or physically – and looking forward to the end of the week.. As this month finally draws to a close…

Finally back to Jakarta after few days in Surabaya for work. I just still can’t believe what really happen there. So many freak things out…

I am a moron myself.. I guess..

Just wanted to unburden myself… so many things crowd the mind even when you think you don’t have time to breathe. I guess I am an emotional person who gets attached very easily and then finds it difficult to bear the most permanent thing in lifechange. People change, situations change, and then we finally change…or perhaps we are the first to change but keep blaming others for changing …

honestly I really don’t know why I am writing this….but it has perhaps something to do with my cribbing which has gone on for quite some weeks…about people changing and hurting me….but I think I realize that people don’t change unless you do yourself. Then your point of view undergoes a change and the world you view changes colors imperceptibly and we think it’s the world that has changed..That it is our lenses that have changed hardly occurs to us.


So..the moral of the story is …if you don’t change.. nobody and nothing do. It happens to all of us.. We all want a wisp of breath…a slight change…but for some it happens in a way we don’t expect or want it to.. Nevertheless it’s a change that perhaps helps to re-define things and/or situations. It probably binds people more strongly and helps them to evaluate each other and their mutual relationship.

I know what you are thinking…the pressure of the last few weeks is severely telling on my state of mind.. well then.. once I have realized it.. I should sign out now till better and more relaxed times.

happy belated valentine guys..

Curhat Colongan

….ngga ngerti….

Hmmm… lets see…
It’s 5.28 pm in the evening,… it’s cold and rainy outside…
I am sitting here at my very quite room in the office. Nobody here, just me… and my shadow…
Working on my job…

Then… I hear this song from my computer

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Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I’m sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it’s, too late, to turn it around
I’m sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don’t love you no more

(Don’t Love You No More (I’m Sorry) – Craig Davids)

Sad song… Tapi bikin gue inget waktu hang out di PIM II hari minggu kemaren…
I don’t why that song stuck in my head that day
And suddenly I miss that moment… I miss all my friends…
Pengen banget bisa ketemu mereka sekarang…
Kumpul bareng… ketawa-tawa bareng…

Where are you all Guys…
I really really miss you …
I miss our togetherness…