Category: Curhat Colongan

*this post is dedicated to SW*

Mendengarkan keluh kesah seorang teman – dari mulai gue mo berangkat ke kantor, sepanjang perjalanan gue ke kantor, sampe akhirnya gue tiba di kantor – mengenai apa yang terjadi dalam kehidupannya lately, yang membuat dia takut untuk melangkah maju karena merasa tidak cukup “punya senjata” buat menang, gue jadi inget cerita dalam buku “To Kill a Mockingbird” nya Harper Lee. Ada satu quote yang sampe sekarang masih gue lekat di otak gue, ketika Atticus menggunakan Mrs. Dubose sebagai contoh nyata untuk menunjukan kepada Jem bahwa “courage isn’t a man with a gun, but someone who fight for what’s right whether he or she wins or not”.

Inget quote itu, gue jadi inget quote sebelumnya dibuku itu juga, dimana ketika Mrs. Dubose sudah meninggal dan Atticus mencoba menerangkan ke Jem bahwa Mrs, Dubose itu pernah menjadi pencandu morfin, tapi dia berjuang melawan kecanduan itu sebelum dia meninggal dan dia berhasil, meskipun dia hanya punya beberapa bulan untuk tetap hidup. Bagian yang gue suka banget dari chapter ini adalah ketika Jem mampu buat ngeliat what real courage was — "It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do.” And Mrs. Dubose wins!!!

Yup! Bagian itu yang bikin gue – beberapa tahun yang lalu – mampu to stand up, head up, have a brave to face the world again. Biar pun gue tau resiko nya gue bakal jatuh lagi, sakit lagi, tapi yang paling penting adalah gue berani memulai (meski gue tau gue akan kalah sebelum memulai) dan nyelesaiin apa yang udah gue mulai itu. Kayak Mrs. Dubose.

Dan pengalaman itu yang tadi gue share ke temen gue.
Dan sesi curhat colongan tadi pagi, bikin gue berkaca sama diri gue sekarang, ketika gue butuh keberanian to fight this horrible feeling to face something (that-I-even-not-dare-to-say), kenapa gue sampe melupakan Mrs. Dubose’s courage ya? Kenapa juga harus takut?

*btw, itu buku ada dimana ya… jadi pengen baca lagi..*

Dude, if you happen to read this post… you should know that life is full of choices. Dan satu pilihan yang kita pilih akan membawa kita ke pilihan-pilihan berikutnya. Kalo kata si Iriel,… “…one thing lead to another…”, and what we really need is just a courage to fight in that battle, whether we will win or not.

And I hope.. I (and you too) win this battle.

Once, sometimes I wonder, if we’re all destined for the end, why should we bother with what we’re doing or trying to achieve?

But then I realized -like I said to someone- destiny is what I make… whatever path I choose that is my destiny… that is why life is a journey, not a destination.

A
piece of sad news last week from one of celebrity here caused a storm in my thoughts and feelings.
And I couldn’t express them properly. I came up with something like
this:

Life is short, and we’re making it shorter.

Pain is inevitable, and we’re bringing more of it upon ourselves.

Hope – we live to dream; we die unfulfilled.

Destiny – do we make up our own paths, or were we given from the start?

Happiness is the satisfaction we love to have.

Regrets – I have a few and it’s too late to fix them.

It
was upsetting. It made me take a serious look at my own life – was I
wasting it? Was I making the best of it? Had I been putting too much
emphasis on superficial things and forgetting the rest?

I tried so hard, and got so far
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter
I had to fall, to lose it all
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter
(In The End – Linkin Park)

It feels terrible to live a life unfulfilled.

When things you
want are within reach you don’t tend to appreciate them. Then you spend
a lot of time chasing after those you can’t get easily.
What if the
chasing has unconsciously become the satisfaction that you look for?

What if you’re only satiable with what you cannot have?

You may think they were sour grapes. But they may not have been sour after all.