Chichi N. Utami

I have a lot of question right in my mind that I couldn’t answer…

And… there’re some questions that just don’t have any answer at all…

For every single question that has been asked on the face of this planet, the answer has always sprouted out of a surprisingly simple logic. Well, not necessarily the simplest, but there could have been more complicated solutions to it. However, the most complicated solution has never turned out to be the perfect one. At least that’s what we have been made to believe.

One begins to wonder about this claims credibility. Do the laws of physics put any constraint on how the solutions have to be? Theories suggestive of this have been around for a long time.

For most people, the 14th century English logician, William Ockham’s claim is worth their life’s exploration:

“entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem”

which translates to Entities should not be multiplied beyond necessity,
more popularly interpreted as The simplest answer is usually the correct answer.

This argument is one of the most favorite claims for the evolutionists to disprove the existence of the ultimate being. As much as this THEORY can be appreciated, the ramifications will almost always turn out to be grave. Not just in science, but in all walks of life.

Defectors of this theory can bring in a million examples to disprove this claim. What is the one question that perpetually persists in every single cerebral being’s mind, the one question that makes them contemplate, and the one question that has been chasing every curious mind? Why is the universe the way it is? Well, and a few more too, but if the former were to be answered, the rest would fall in place.

Even for these profound questions, there is a ludicrously simple theory. The universe is the way it is, because we are. The universe is the way it is because, if it weren’t, we wouldn’t be here to question about it. There might be millions of other possible universes, but only this is real, because we are here. The anthropic principle! It can be equated to: Why is it raining today? Because if it doesn’t, human race wouldn’t persist and we won’t be here. So did we get an answer for the question? The supposed answer might have made some sense, but the relevance factor was absolute naught.

In our pursuit in life, we are all settling in for such pedestrian solutions. There would have been no apparent solution, nevertheless, we settle for that! Striving towards the ultimate reality is far too difficult. People just cannot be taught to do it. Neither does their thought process propel them. However, the fruit once borne will be worth the struggle. Few realize this and strive for what is absolute, rather than to settle for what might be apparent. Fewer attain the peaks.

But if one is anywhere near the vicinity of being close to the solution, if there is awareness that one is in the right path, and if there is someway of finding out at least a morsel of what is meant to be, it is worth the risk. It is worth the struggle. For, it is in this struggle that one realizes that the absolute panacea was far too near than assumed.

We dance ’round in a ring and suppose

But the secret sits in the middle and knows

~ Robert Frost

In life, u’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom u shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one u 1^st kissed, the one u 1st loved, the one u lost your virginity to, the one u put on a pedestal, the one u’re with.. and the one that got away. Who is the one that got away?

I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a long time partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person.

I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with u being ready to settle down & commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance. How often have u gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who u’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers I simply because you’re not ready & it shows. It’s not that u & the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day u’re ready. U really is. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time & u’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will. The day comes when you’re finally making sense of things & u finds yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, u finally understand who u are and what u want and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind u, there’s no telling when this day will come.

Hopefully u’re singles but u could be in a long-term relationship, u could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All u know is that u’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person u think about. U’ll think about them because u’ll wonder, "What if they were here today? U’ll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am & not as I was?" That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, u’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale u thinks your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that if you’re already with the one you’re with, that this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when u get past it. Sure, u’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a "might have been”, but it happens. Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What does u do if it’s not yet too late? Simple… find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you’ll always wonder, what if u got that one? Ask him out to coffee; ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, u just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away”. U might drop in from out of nowhere & it won’t make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it’ll all fall into place somehow & it would be a great feeling, if in the end u’ll be able to say to someone, "Hey u, you’re the one that got away".

 

(From Iya’s BB… How come I never realize it?? Hope someday I’ll be able able to say “Hey you,… You’re the one that got away!!!”…. )